smokin niggas like parliments,
ask caleb, he got no arguements,
dice in the mirror, no ornaments,
this is...
the end.
everything is bullshit.
spring hill is corrupt.
nashville is where its at, for now.
i just need more, more love more life more riches.
you know?
i've got crazy dreams.
you can dream a little dream, or you can live a little dream,
i'd rather live it, 'cause dreamers always chase, but never get it.
"hahha, yeahhhh."
"fuck, but thats what niggas be doin, dressin like me and shit. dayummm."
skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate skate
"...with that damn shoestring belt, nigga who you think you are."
"im allergic to that metal shit on real belts dick, fuck off before i piss on yo lips."
"hey hey hey, nah, nah, nah, don't be ruining my marble."
"alright alright, the kia carnival guy's over there, go see him, and im going to stay here and fuck up your marble. hahahaha bitchhh."
thats it dawg.
thats what i want.
haha.
bitchin.
and read "the electric acid kool-aid test"
little bitch.
adam likes to suck big navy cock.
thank you.
that is all.
ps.
fuck you.
mischke.
17 again was actually a really good movie.
knowing was a great mother fuckin movie.
definitely my favorite.
ever. ever. ever.
it was like making love in the back of your car for the first time with the one you loved, and it felt instantaneously infinite.
everything beautiful, yet deceitfully destructive.
love and life and hate and death.
and...
yeahhhhh.
kevin devine.
broken board.
fuck.
well i decided to start from the very end, like the oldest shit.
i found love messages from jessica and i talkin back and forth.
dumb shit from jay talkin about parties and skatin.
but what really caught me off guard was all the messages form malerie.
when we talked about her puppy, she sent me a picture once she got bailey, and how i was always busy, and she wanted to come to my soccer games,
and how i kissed her before her spring break trip to arkansas and oklahoma.
i miss it, i honestly do, i really really miss her compassion.
i remember how she told me in that letter after i broke up with her that i showed her so much, but i never told her how she changed me.
and she did. ...te amo
i dont know, i guess its silly lookin back to everything, but its fun though, you know?
seeing how you liked someone and how you acted and how they acted and the all the lovey dovey nonsense,
but everytime you look back, you think what if i did this, and then this wouldve happened and i wouldve been happier...
but truth is, when people say they wouldnt change anything back then, everytime they look back, they change something and dream that they wouldve.
i think you might like this
: ]
i'm gonna jump the walls and run, i wonder if they'll miss me? i won't miss them.
the cemetery is my home, i want to be part of it, invisible even to the night.
then i'll read poetry to the stars, maybe one day i could be one of them, wise and silent.
waiting for someone to love me, waiting for someone to kiss me, i'm already fifteen and i feel it's already too late to live.
don't you?
slow down.
chill out.
take it all in babydoll.
i just want to test reality, i just want to chill, just be there, in the moment.
i can't explain all the things i'm feeling right now, i mean, neither can any 18 year old/college student, but then again, i'm not average.
my mind expands and i try and try to understand. why can't people just realize what i'm trying to explain, why things aren't bad, why you should just chill and ride things out.
drugs? you got to be kidding me, drugs, marijuana, understand it.
you won't know how you feel until you try, thats what irritates me. the above influence? you're not livin above anything, i am, i'm the one high, on top of the world, you couldn't touch me with a fuckin antenna. it clears your mind and fills it with questions about reality all in one swift instant. it floods your mind. it makes things sharper, and thats where i want to live.
why? why? why?? nigga i ain't got to tell you.
you know how people say, "you don't know how i feel", i feel i'm not that person whining, whining about life, whining just because. thats not me.
all i can say is.
you really don't understand me, people can't comprehend shit blowing in my ears, through my medulla, and out my fingers.
thats why i decide the shit i do, you know, and i just need to have people accept things i do, or what i'm decidin.
love with everything you try.
believe it.
this is what i'm feeling right now.
alex pardee is god.
nothing really has struck me enough to write it down and explode onto here,
so lets leave it at that.
normal shit, i miss people.
girls?
maybe one, maybe a little relationship happening, maybe, maybe, maybe.
don't fuck me up babyyy.
fuck fuck fuck shit shit shit.
peacee
enlightin', lightin', lightin', light the thing, no reggie mane.
first half of spring semester is coming to an end.
spring break nig.
snowboarding.
things are starting to patch up with my dad, but as soon as i come home, he'll start shit again.
i might be getting an apartment up here in august.
fuckkk,
battery low.
hit me up, anyone, whenever.
peaceee
i think i remind her of him.
oh man oh man.
i wonder how rabbie is doing.
and i fully plan on being there when the baby is born.
: ]
anyway, times been slippin by pretty fast.
i'm bored after a while.
girls girls girls, got to get me one.
i haven't really been doing anything new lately.
just skate, school, and work.
blah blah blah.
i'm worried about jay becuase of the week of shit coming up.
I had a notion that of all in the room she saw only me with her impersonal eyes.
fuck his bullshit.
i can't stand his shit anymore.
sex deprived life.
i can't sleep at nights.
i'm never tired.
i do shit all day.
not tired.
headaches?
let me ask you this,
what the hell is all this bullshit thats happening to me?
honestly? i don't care, so, fuck off, i dont want the answer.
you're body's warped, it's uncontrolable.
you're somewhere else.
i was drunk.
then i smoked some blueberry cush.
then i slept with jordan in her tiny dorm twin size bed.
cody slept over with mary in her tiny dorm twin size bed.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the no care streak right now.
i smoke pot alot.
almost like everyday.
actually i'm about to go smoke and skate.
i actually woke up today, went to work, got on lunch and smoked weed, then went back to work.
janet's birthday was fun.
jordan and mary are a riot.
cody and i are just ridiculous when they're near us.
janet drank.
bigg steppp.
haa
last night we tried salvia.
that was a trip.
like, really, you don't stay in the same universe.
janet suprised us all and did it to.
wow.
then me and mary smoked her cush.
and i left.
i can't wait til break.
but im going to miss mary, she's not coming back in the spring.
jordan is, but i don't know how she'll function without mary.
oh well, when life gives you lemons,
burn someone's eyes.
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